Who are the little girls?
Ok, so to be clear right from the beginning: This is not a post about parenting. This is a post to empower girls all over the world. Simply some food-for-thought for the little girls of today and the ones, that we once were, and that still live inside of us. Yep, we all know her. She's the one who wants to cuddle up on the couch when everything sucks and not talk to anybody. With a huge Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice-cream watching one of those nonsense romcoms.
As I said earlier, this post is not only for our 'inside-of-us little girls' but also for the ones in our lives, little sisters, daughters, nieces, the kid next door. I wanna tell you why we need to share with them a slice of reality when it comes to the topic on how to live a happy and fulfilled life and how to succeed. Nope, still no parenting post.
Disney and relationship concepts
I believe we're all queens. At least I think we should all behave like one. I know this statement sounds totally strange at first. But you're still reading (which is great!) so let me tell you a short story on how I came to this conclusion: I always wanted to be a princess like most little girls.
Around the globe, girls (and a lot of grown up women) go to bed every night wishing to wake up being kissed by a handsome fella just about to put a crown on their heads immediately after that passionate introduction. And they lived happily ever after.
Honestly, I love most of the Disney Princess movies, especially "Beauty and the Beast" and "Aladdin". But would they pass the Bechdel Test? Curious what that is? This test asks three super simple questions to determine, if there's an active presence of women in a movie (or other work of fiction). Here are the three questions:
- Does the movie have at least two female characters (with names) in it?
- Who talk to each other?
- About something different than a man?
Would your favorite movie pass this test? If it doesn't, it might not be the best work of art to empower girls (yes, true story!). But not all of the Disney films are like that. Especially in recent years Disney produced some amazing girl power movies like "Frozen" or "Moana/Vaiana".
I grew up with Disney movies. My very first one was 'The Little Mermaid' and I was about 3 years old when I watched it. Until today, I'm scared of moray eels. But that's another story. What do all the Disney Princess movies released when I was a kid have in common? Their completely unrealistic way of relationship commencements, which makes it hard for a girl not to wish being rescued by a Prince Charming one day.
But how unlikely is it, that an incredibly good-looking, kind, rich, young, smart, animal-loving, single (!) guy breaks into your apartment at six o'clock in the morning, feeling that you're the one he always wanted to save from her personal misery (yes, we all have issues), therefore running to your bedroom to embrace you tenderly, and - after some intense smooching (bad morning breath hellooo!?) - proposing with the biggest rock you've ever seen.
Exactly. Not going to happen. Would be somehow creepy anyway.
The difference between Princesses and Queens
Please take a couple of minutes to read and understand what Marianne has to say about princesses and queens:
What is a princess and what is a queen? Why is the princess often a pejorative description of a certain type of woman, and the word queen hardly ever applied to women at all? A princess is a girl who knows that she will get there, who is on her way perhaps but is not yet there. She has power but she does not yet wield it responsibly. She is indulgent and frivolous. She cries but not yet noble tears. She stomps her feet and does not know how to contain her pain or use it creatively. A queen is wise. She has earned her serenity, not having had it bestowed on her but having passed her tests. She has suffered and grown more beautiful because of it. She has proved she can hold her kingdom together. She has become its vision. She cares deeply about something bigger than herself. She rules with authentic power.
This quote inspired me so much, that it sparked the idea of creating the blog you're currently reading, regarding topics I care about and which transformed me into the woman that I'm proud of being today. Since reading Marianne's book, I don't consider myself a wanna-be princess anymore. I consider myself a spiritual queen in-the-making.
I try to implement this mindset into my daily life and everything feels so much easier, better and much more natural. Sure, there are days, where I struggle, whine about nonsense and feel tiny and insignificant. Still, I never lose sight of my ultimate goal: getting each day a bit closer to feeling whole through being me, realizing my dreams and through my own experiences. Not through somebody else.
Ok, so how to empower girls now?
What I want to express through that post is simple: There's no knight in shiny armour on a white horse going to rescue us and going to make us happy. If you have a dream or goal in life, don't depend on the benevolence of somebody else. You have to make it happen yourself.
Work hard. Be fierce. Stand up for yourself. It's everything but easy, I get that. It's likely you're going to suffer and it's likely you'll encounter more than one struggle. But no one else but you - and especially no men - will carry you to your goal. And nobody is responsible for making you happy. Only you can do that.
Share this message with all the little girls out there and empower those girls today, so they don't sit around waiting to be rescued.
How do you feel about the above quote? Which life advice would you like to have known as a little girl or earlier in life? I'm really curious, so please comment below.
Are you looking for actionable ways on how to be more mindful in your daily routine? I’ve put together what I call ‘The ultimate beginner’s guide to a mindful lifestyle’ incl. a 30 day planner to keep track on your habits and - imagine this! - you can download it for free 🙂